To show gratitude to the people who help you, write down who they are and what they do for you, then pick one extra way to thank each of them. That could be buying the next lunch, leaving a bigger tip or passing along something you think they’d like. It works like a gratitude journal about people instead of things, without any score-keeping.
Heads up: one link in this post is an affiliate link, so I earn a commission if you buy through it, at no extra cost to you. It’s for the labels the sticker sheet is sized for. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Why write down the people who help you?
Most gratitude lists I’ve kept were about things, like a good cup of coffee or a quiet morning. When I sat down and listed people instead, my sister was at the top before I’d even thought about it, because she’s always there when I need something.
The most recent big one was the day she sat at our house with our dogs, all day, so my husband and I could go visit his family. But the little things she does for me happen all the time, and those are the ones I’d forget if I didn’t write them down. Some days it feels like she helps me more than I help her, but we do help each other, and neither of us is counting.
When I put people on paper, I could see how many of them help me get through a normal week. The list also gives you a place to jot down how you’d like to thank them, so you don’t forget the idea the way I forget most of mine.
How do I show gratitude without keeping score?
My sister and I have a loose system that isn’t really a system. When one of us helps the other, we both just know we’ll get each other back, and sometimes that means picking up lunch or a treat that same day.
On the dog day, I didn’t do anything extra, because I’m going to be helping her move soon. I’ll probably still give her something, but I didn’t do an instant show of gratitude besides the words. I do have it in the back of my head, though, so the next time we grab something to eat, I’m buying.
That mental note is the whole idea behind this post. It’s an extra thank-you you want to give someone because they matter to you and you’d like them to know it. There’s no tally of who owes who.
What are small ways to thank someone who helps you?
The people who help me each do it in a different way, so the thank-yous end up different too. My dad helps with things around my house sometimes, and he helps me with my Amazon Influencer videos. I usually just say thank you, but I also end up giving him and a few other people a lot of the products I get to review. If you’re curious where those come from, I wrote about how Amazon influencers get products.
My friend Colleene is the one who gets me out of the house so I’m not a complete creepy shut-in. She also does my hair, so when that appointment comes around I try to give her an extra big tip.
Here are the kinds of help I see most in my own life, with a thank-you idea for each one:
| The kind of help | One extra thank-you idea |
|---|---|
| A big favor, like watching the dogs all day | Buy the next meal, or be there when they need a hand |
| Little things, all the time | Pick up lunch or a small treat that day |
| Help with your work or projects | Pass along something you think they’d like |
| Getting you out of the house | Say yes to the next invite, and tell them it helped |
| A service they do for you, like your hair | Leave an extra big tip |
| Anything at all | Say thank you out loud, and name what they did |
If thank-yous feel awkward to you because accepting help is the hard part, I’ve been there, and I wrote about it in why it’s so hard to accept compliments, help, and wins.
For the little extras, I made a sheet of thank-you seals. Stick one on a card, an envelope or a treat bag. There are 40 that say “Thank you for:” with a line to fill in, plus 20 ready to go, like Lunch is on me, Thanks for pet sitting and You made my day. They’re small enough to fit in a planner too, if you’d rather mark the day you said it.
Print them on Avery 5195 labels if you’ve got a laser printer, or Avery 8195 if you’ve got an inkjet. Avery lists both as the same template. Print at Actual Size (100%) so the seals line up with the labels.
How do I use the Gratitude Roster?
I made a free printable for this called the Gratitude Roster. It’s one page with room for eight people, and each row has three parts:
- Who. Their name, or whatever you call them.
- What they do for me. The big favor and the little stuff.
- One extra thank-you I want to give. Something small and specific you can do.
There’s a little circle on each row you can color in after you’ve done your extra thank-you, and a short list of ideas at the bottom if you get stuck.
Fill it in once, whenever you have ten minutes, and keep it somewhere you’ll see it. Thanksgiving week is a nice time to do it, since you’re already thinking about who you’re grateful for, but any week works.
This week’s practice
Thank one person a little extra
- Write down three people who helped you this year.
- Next to each name, write one thing they do for you, big or small.
- Pick one extra thank-you for each person, like lunch, a treat or a bigger tip.
- Do one of them before the week is over.
- Color in its circle on the Gratitude Roster, if you’re using it.
Frequently asked questions
How do you show gratitude to someone who helps you?
Thank them out loud and name what they did, then add one small extra gesture, like buying the next lunch or leaving a bigger tip. Writing the people who help you down in one place makes it easier to remember what you wanted to do for each of them.
Do I have to pay someone back when they help me?
No. With the people I’m closest to, we help each other without keeping track, and we just know we’ll get each other back. An extra thank-you is just a way to show you noticed what they did.
What is a gratitude roster?
A gratitude roster is a list of the people who help you, what they do for you and one extra way you’d like to thank each of them. It’s like a gratitude journal, but about people.
What’s a good way to thank someone without spending much?
Pick up a small treat, pass along something you already have that you think they’d like, or tell them what their help meant to you. I give away a lot of the products I get to review this way.
Is saying thank you enough?
Saying thank you is a good start, and most of the time it’s what I do. The extra thank-you is for the people who show up again and again, so they get something a little more than the words now and then.
Where I am with this
I still mostly just say thank you, and I’m still buying my sister’s lunch next time. Writing down the people who help you, what they do and one extra way to thank them is a simple way to show gratitude to people who help you, with no score to keep. Start with three names this week.
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