How to romanticize your life, the way I do it, is to pair something small and nice with an ordinary part of the day. I put fresh flowers out after I clean the kitchen, I use my favorite mug for morning coffee, and I turn on an audiobook while I do chores. It makes the little things more enjoyable and gives me tiny things to look forward to. I didn’t come up with the phrase, and I forget to do it some days.
What does it mean to romanticize your life?
To me it means making the little things extra special, so I appreciate the small stuff more.
I can’t take credit for the phrase. I heard it somewhere a while ago, I’m not sure where, and I latched onto it because I loved the concept. I’m also not a pro at this. I’m not all that consistent with it, and some days I forget completely.
What do I do to romanticize an ordinary day?
These are the four I come back to.
- Fresh cut flowers after I clean the kitchen. The flowers go out once the cleaning is done.
- My favorite mug for morning coffee. I make sure it’s the one I reach for.
- Music or a good audiobook while I do chores. I don’t know if that’s romanticizing chores or just getting through them. I wrote more about how I feel about chores in Why Do I Resent the Chores That Come With What I Wanted?
- A little nighttime ritual with a warm cozy drink and a book. I wrote about the rest of my evening in my evening wind-down post.
What does it change?
When I do these extra things I feel a little bit of excitement, and a lot more appreciation for my day and for the little things in it.
It also makes mundane chores more enjoyable, and it breaks up that Groundhog Day feeling where every day looks like the one before it. It gives me tiny things to look forward to.
What are glimmers?
Glimmers are small moments in a day that give you a little spark of joy. I hadn’t heard the word until I started on this post.
It comes from Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker, who says on her site that she first used the term in her book Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. Her own example is lifting her eyes to the sky.
When I read that, it was the word for the feeling I get when one of my little extras works. I’d describe it in my body as, ooh, it’s just nicer. So the way I think of it now, romanticizing is the thing I do, and a glimmer is what it feels like.
Does romanticizing your life cost money?
It doesn’t have to. I keep my treats reasonable, small and affordable, and nothing crazy indulgent, because that could get out of hand quickly. If a treat comes with a side of guilt, I wrote about that in Why I Feel Guilty Buying Things for Myself.
A treat can also be free. Letting myself get into an audiobook, listening to a podcast or putting on my favorite music all count.
| Free | Small cost |
|---|---|
| An audiobook or podcast during chores | Fresh cut flowers |
| My favorite music | A warm cozy drink at night |
| The favorite mug I already own | |
| A book before bed |
How does this help with gratitude?
I think it’s easier to practice gratitude when I’ve made the happy moments in my day a little bigger. There’s more to notice, and I notice it. If you want a simple place to start with the gratitude side, my daily gratitude practice takes a few minutes.
How do I start romanticizing my life?
I’d start with two lists. Write down the things you dread doing. Then write down the things that bring you happiness and the small ways you like to treat yourself. Then see which ones you can pair together.
The second list is a lot like a dopamine menu, so if you’ve made one of those, you can reuse it.
If your lists come up short, these are pairs to try. They’re ideas, and they aren’t a record of what I do:
- Folding laundry with a podcast you save only for laundry.
- Paying bills with a favorite drink next to you. The Admin Night plan on Admin Arcade builds the drink right into it.
- Washing dishes with one playlist played start to finish.
- Making the bed and then opening the curtains all the way.
Today’s action
Make one pair today
- Write down 3 things you dread doing this week.
- Write down 5 small things that make you happy or feel like a treat. Free ones count.
- Draw a line from one dreaded thing to one treat.
- Do that pair today, and pay attention to how the chore feels with the treat attached.
- Keep both lists where you’ll see them, because it’s easy to forget. I do.
Frequently asked questions
What does it mean to romanticize your life?
To me it means making the little things extra special so I appreciate them more. For me that’s fresh flowers after I clean the kitchen, or my favorite mug for morning coffee.
How do I romanticize my everyday life?
I pair something small and nice with an ordinary part of the day. A good way to find your own pairs is to list the things you dread, list the small things that make you happy, and match them up.
What are glimmers?
Glimmers are small moments in a day that give you a little spark of joy. The term comes from Deb Dana, who says she first used it in her book Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. I think of a glimmer as the feeling I get when one of my small extras works.
How do I romanticize chores?
I turn on music or a good audiobook while I do them. It makes mundane chores more enjoyable for me.
Is romanticizing your life expensive?
No. I keep treats small and affordable, and several of mine are free, like an audiobook, a podcast or my favorite music.
Where I am with this
Romanticizing my life comes down to pairing small, affordable treats with ordinary parts of the day, so there are more little things to enjoy and to be grateful for. I’m not a pro at it and I still forget some days. Make your two lists, pick one pair, and try it today.
A tool I built
Dopamine Dealer
Track your habits and get a hit of dopamine every time you check one off. No willpower required.
Start your streak →I run an affiliate program on the tools I build. Approved affiliates earn 20% on what their referrals pay, for up to a year. US only for now. See the program →
